Ryan Watches 50 Movies

Will you look at that? I'm so close to the end, and then I skip a week for Thanksgiving, and then I miss another week... What's wrong with me? Well, if you really want to know why I didn't post a movie write-up here on Wednesday, it's because this is the week I compiled the 2008 Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant over on ToughPigs.com. You should check it out; it's highly entertaining. But it took me so long to finish that I decided I never wanted to look at a computer screen again. I may or may not post about Last Woman on Earth before I leave for Texas for Christmas this Wednesday. But here is my solemn vow, and may zombies and psychics strike me down if I fail to live up to it: When I resume watching and posting, I will not take any more breaks until I reach the end.

It's only Tuesday morning, but I can tell you right now I'm not going to have a write-up of Bloodlust ready here on Wednesday night. That's for two reasons: 1. I'm going to be flying across the country on Wednesday, and 2. I haven't watched Bloodlust yet! But I'm looking forward to it, especially as the DVD sleeve claims it stars Robert Reed. Could be the same guy who played Mike on The Brady Bunch ? I can't wait to find out, and hopefully to see him fight zombies. I hope everyone has a thoroughly pleasant fourth Thursday of November. And now, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and horror movies, please enjoy this picture I found while doing a Google image search for monster turkey :

Hi, everyone. Here's the deal: I haven't written about Swamp Women yet. I've had an unusually full week. But I will write about Swamp Women ! Soon! And it will be the swampiest thing you've ever seen.

Hi there. I ran out of time to watch The Phantom of the Opera this week. But I had a pretty good reason... or rather, reasons. Let me tell you about it (them). On Thursday, I attempted to go to a free outdoor screening of Cabaret , but it was rained out, so I watched it at a friend's apartment instead. It was not quite what I expected. I was surprised to see that all of the musical numbers in the film were presented as performances at the titular nightclub, and the characters never spontaneously burst into song, as is traditional in musicals. Is there a term for this subset of musicals? But it was still a pretty good movie. On Monday, I went to a free outdoor screening of Superman , which was the most crowded and high-energy movie screening I've ever been to. People were cheering and whooping and applauding for pretty much everything Superman ever did, and for the duration of the film, for all of the New Yorkers squeezed together on the lawn at Bryant Park, Superma...

I have to get packed to fly to Texas tomorrow, so there's no classic horror movie post today. But next week I'll post my review of King of the Zombies . The track record for zombie movies on the horror classics set has not been so good. Will King of the Zombies be the king of zombie films? Come back next week to find out. Until then, enjoy this picture I found by doing an image search for "zombie":

This week's movie is Maniac , a 1934 movie that truly defines the phrase "a 1934 movie." Okay, I have a confession, for the two or three of you who check this blog regularly: I haven't watched Maniac yet. I really have no excuse; it's only 51 minutes long. Fifty-one minutes! I've taken longer to fold my underwear! So, I haven't been very good lately about sticking to the "update once a week, exactly on Wednesday evening" schedule, despite the large salary I make for writing this blog. But I'm really, really going to try to do better, and that's a promise. May mad monsters and atom age vampires strike me down if I'm lying! By the way, in the unlikely event that you hadn't guessed, that's not even a picture from Maniac up there. That's from the classic LucasArts adventure game Maniac Mansion , which has the word "maniac" in the title. Also the word "mansion," but I don't think there's a movie c...

In case there's anyone checking this little ol' blog today: Don't forget, I've switched to a Wednesday evening update schedule. Mondays proved to be just too formidable a foe for me to vanquish, whatever that means. Come back on Wednesday for The Mad Monster!

A message to my loyal readers (all three of you): I haven't watched The Giant Gila Monster yet. I will soon -- you can bet your sweet bippy on it. But I just haven't gotten around to it since last week's post. Maybe I've finally hit a saturation point of "classic" horror movies and I need to take a break. I'm only human, after all. At least last I checked... It's altogether possible I'm an atom age vampire or a beast of yucca flats and I just don't realize it. But just so this isn't a complete waste of your time, enjoy this trailer for the 2001 film The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra , which is a hilarious pastiche of exactly the kind of film I've been subjecting myself to for 12 weeks and counting. The movie is a bit hard to find, but it's immensely entertaining.