Ryan Watches 50 Movies

Check it out: the only image I can find online of a poster for 1932's The Monster Walks is this one in Spanish. The movie's not in Spanish. But check out that monster! It's a giant, partially-evolved man-beast that eats people! This movie's gonna rock! I just know it will... I've never been wrong about any of these "horror classics" before, have I? Synopsis One of the first things I noticed was that the credits included a character named "Exodus" played by an actor named "Sleep 'n' Eat." This gave me an uneasy feeling... the kind of feeling you get when you suspect that you're about to see a cringe-inducing stereotypical African-American character in a movie from the early 1930s. You know that feeling. Anyway, the movie starts with the death of Mr. Nelson. Various associates of his are gathered at his house on this stormy night, including Dr. Nelson's friend and lawyer Mr. Wilkes, Mrs. Krug the servant and her s...

This movie is from 1960, and it's called Tormented . Who will be tormented, and what will be tormenting him or her? As I sat down to watch the film, I couldn't wait to find out. This week, my old pal, fellow movie nerd, and loyal Ryan Watches 50 Movies reader Sara was visiting, so she had the enviable privilege of joining me as I watched an old movie no one's ever heard of. Synopsis Tom Stewart is a jazz pianist, successful enough that he has a concert coming up at Carnegie Hall. (But how will he get there, har har har?) Right now he's spending some time on a lovely island, which has a sunny beach, an impressive old lighthouse, and the tide coming in which drowns out the dialogue in all the scenes shot outdoors. Tom is about to marry his girlfriend Meg, but trouble shows up in the form of his ex, Vi. (When the credits said "JULI REDING AS VI", I wasn't sure if her name would be pronounced "Vie" or "Six.") Vi hasn't quite gotten ove...

Is Roger Corman's 1960 film The Little Shop of Horrors really a horror movie? If you have one, two, or more functioning eyeballs, you should be able to read the tagline on the poster over there: "THE FUNNIEST PICTURE THIS YEAR!" So no, it's not intended as a serious horror movie. There's a monster, and death and stuff, but the movie doesn't take itself seriously for a minute. In fact, it's so amusing that Howard Ashman and Alan Menken turned it into a very funny musical comedy (efficiently dropping the " The " from the title) in 1982, which was later turned into another (highly entertaining) movie. Perhaps someday there will be a serious horror film based on that version, but for now, let's talk about the Corman incarnation of the story. Synopsis The film is narrated faux-noirishly by Sergeant Joe Fink, a no-nonsense cop. He tells us about a case he worked on involving Seymour Krelboin, a sad sack who works at Gravis Mushnick's flower sh...

The World Gone Mad from 1933 is pretty obscure. It's so obscure, in fact, that I couldn't find an image of the poster online. So I made this one. It's the world going mad. Remember last week's movie from the "50 Horror Classics" DVD set, Swamp Women , and how it wasn't really a horror movie? Well, guess what? The World Gone Mad is even less of a horror movie! I'm not sure what genre I'd put it... probably the "men in suits talking a lot" genre. Honestly, I had a hard time following the whole mess, but I'll try my best to sum it up for you. Synopsis Oh heck, where to begin? Okay, so there's this guy named Christopher Bruno, a crooked businessman who works in the Empire State Building. He has a meeting with his buddy Graham Gaines, and he has a very important assignment for Graham: Kill the District Attorney. See, the DA, Avery Henderson, is about to start an investigation that would uncover all the corrupt dealings they and thei...

All right, so... Swamp Women ! This is a 1955 movie directed by Roger Corman, and it's included in a "horror classics" box set, so let's see if I can predict what it's about: a hapless family on a camping trip encounters a tribe of fierce mutants: half-women, half-alligators! Yeah! That sounds awesome! And it's a Roger Corman movie, so it must be something like that. Let's check it out! Synopsis It's Mardi Gras! Or, rather, it's stock footage of Mardi Gras , and it's being watched by Bob and his girlfriend, whose name I never did catch. Bob's in New Orleans because he's an oilman, soon to be looking for a good place to find oil in the swamp. Something like that. Girlfriend begs to go along with him on his trip to the bayou, and he consents, partly because he enjoys her company, but mostly because he enjoys her makeouts. Meanwhile, a police officer named Leigh meets with her captain. They've hatched a plan to track down the ...

Hi, everyone. Here's the deal: I haven't written about Swamp Women yet. I've had an unusually full week. But I will write about Swamp Women ! Soon! And it will be the swampiest thing you've ever seen.

First of all, I want to say that I discovered something very cool while watching this movie. But I'm not going to tell you what it was until my "comments" section, so keep reading. Now, here's something odd. Before this week, I'd seen the 1922 silent classic Nosferatu once, on Turner Classic Movies, and in the version I saw there, the vampire in the film was named Count Orlok. In the version included on the 50 Movie Classics: Horror DVD set I'm trudging through now, that character's name is Count Dracula. Apparently the Bram Stoker novel Dracula was still copyrighted in 1922, which explains why the German filmmakers changed the villains name and many other details. But I wonder, at what point did somebody create a new English print of the film in which his name was Dracula instead of Orlok? And if the film is in the public domain, does that mean I could take the film, add new titles establishing his name as Dr. Macadamia van Goofberry, and sell cop...