Ryan Watches 50 Movies

Will you look at that? I'm so close to the end, and then I skip a week for Thanksgiving, and then I miss another week... What's wrong with me? Well, if you really want to know why I didn't post a movie write-up here on Wednesday, it's because this is the week I compiled the 2008 Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant over on ToughPigs.com. You should check it out; it's highly entertaining. But it took me so long to finish that I decided I never wanted to look at a computer screen again. I may or may not post about Last Woman on Earth before I leave for Texas for Christmas this Wednesday. But here is my solemn vow, and may zombies and psychics strike me down if I fail to live up to it: When I resume watching and posting, I will not take any more breaks until I reach the end.

Check out that poster image. That's the best I could find on the entire internet. Mr. X doesn't seem so amazing when he's that small, does he? Man, is this really movie #44? That's insane. What was I thinking, taking on this box set? It's hard coming up with clever ways of describing 50 old movies nobody remembers. Which is why I'm doing this week's synopsis not in the usual way, but in the style of a 6-year-old trying to explain a movie to you. Take it away, six-year-old! Synopsis Um, there's this lady? And her name is Chris but she's not a boy like my friend Chris. It's short for Christine. And, um, she has a sister and her name is Janet, like my mom's friend, and she lives in a big house on the beach, and then she goes to sleep, and then she hears this man going, "CHRIS... CHRIS..." and she thinks it's her husband, but he's dead. I forget how he died. Um, and then she's gonna go on a date, but then there...

Before we proceed, I want to be certain everyone knows the title of this film is Bloodlust! with an exclamation mark. This puts it in the same category with such motion pictures as Tora! Tora! Tora! and Airplane! and Viva Zapata! As you will see, this film is nearly identical to those three. You may remember last week when I wondered aloud whether the "Robert Reed" listed in the credits for this film would be the same Robert Reed who starred on The Brady Bunch . I think you'll be as delighted as I was to know that yes, in fact, the guy who played Mike Brady stars in this movie running for his life from an insane man with a crossbow. Gee, you just never know what you'll get with this 50-movie pack of "horror classics." One week it's a silly Japanese giant-monster movie from the late 60s, the next week it's a dumb comedy mystery from the 30s, and a few weeks later it's a thriller from 1961 that shamelessly rips off a classic short story. W...