Horror Classic 34 of 50: NOSFERATU

First of all, I want to say that I discovered something very cool while watching this movie. But I'm not going to tell you what it was until my "comments" section, so keep reading.

Now, here's something odd. Before this week, I'd seen the 1922 silent classic Nosferatu once, on Turner Classic Movies, and in the version I saw there, the vampire in the film was named Count Orlok. In the version included on the 50 Movie Classics: Horror DVD set I'm trudging through now, that character's name is Count Dracula.

Apparently the Bram Stoker novel Dracula was still copyrighted in 1922, which explains why the German filmmakers changed the villains name and many other details. But I wonder, at what point did somebody create a new English print of the film in which his name was Dracula instead of Orlok? And if the film is in the public domain, does that mean I could take the film, add new titles establishing his name as Dr. Macadamia van Goofberry, and sell copies of it? I'll have to call my lawyer about that, but first let's talk about the movie.

Synopsis
Jonathon Harker a chipper fellow who smiles way too much, and works for a real estate agency in Bremen, Germany. His boss is Mr. Renfield, an old man who would never win the Mr. Germany beauty pageant. He's married to a woman named Nina, and they're really in love. It's kind of nauseating, really, the way they make goo-goo eyes at each other. Of course, goo-goo eyes don't make any noise, which plays pretty well in a silent film.

One day, Renfield shows Jonathon a letter he's received from Count Dracula in Transylvania. (Remember, I'm just telling you what was in the version I watched, and in that version he's Dracula. If you see it somewhere else he may be Count Orlok, or Count Chocula, or Count von Count.) The Count's letter is full of weird symbols and it looked pretty indechiperable to me, but apparently it says he wants to buy a house in Bremen. Renfield chooses the perfect house... right next door to Jonathon and Nina! And it's up to Jonathon to travel to Transylvania to get Dracula to sign the paperwork.

As it turns out, Transylvania is far away, and also said to be the "land of the phantoms," so Nina's pretty worried about her husband, but he insists he'll be fine. On the way, he spends the night at an inn, where he find in his room a copy of The Book of Vampires. What, no Gideon Bible? The vampire book tells of Nosferatu, the terrifying creature whose very name should be avoided at all costs. Jonathon thinks this is hilarious, and he ignores the book's warnings. He actually hurls the book to the floor like he's spiking a football. Take that, silly book! (From what I hear, this is the same reaction many people had when they finished reading another vampire book, Breaking Dawn.)

Then some other stuff happens, and then Jonathon arrives at Dracula's castle, which is all dark and shadowy. He gets the count to sign the papers, and sleeps at the castle that night. In the morning, he wakes to find two puncture marks on his neck, which can only mean one thing... He tried to eat with chopsticks in his sleep and did a really bad job of it!

Or it could mean that the count is a vampire. Which of course he is, and Jonathon realizes it later that morning when he finds the count sleeping in a coffin. So Jonathon skedaddles back to Bremen. Ah, but he's not the only one headed for that destination. Count Dracula/Mr. Nosferatu has himself packed in a crate and loaded on a ship headed for Bremen. By the time the vampire's ship comes in, the entire crew is dead. The Bremen officials immediately fear the plague.

But it's not the plague, oh no sir, it's not. It's something ever worse: a bald guy with pointy ears! Nosferatu has big plans for the city, and they don't involve joining the neighborhood watch or the city council so much as killing every citizen one by one. Not just the musicians of Bremen, either -- he's after everyone.

Then Nina finds Jonathon's Book of Vampires, which mentions the only way to end a vampire's curse: A pure-hearted woman must willingly offer Nosferatu her blood. Can Nina allow herself to participate in the most horrible blood drive ever, one that doesn't even offer cookies or a sticker?

Is It Scary?
Nosferatu/Dracula/Orlok is a very freaky villain.

Lessons I Learned

• If you find a book on monsters in your hotel room, read it very carefully before hurling to the floor.
• Vampires never travel anywhere without an entourage of a few hundred rats.
• Transylvania is nothing like Pennsylvania.
  

My Favorite Lines

• Not really amusing, just creepy: When the count sees a picture of Nina, he says to Jonathon, "Is that your wife? What a lovely throat!"

Body Count
Well, let's see... There was the one... and then all the guys on the ship... and those townspeople... It all adds up to... A LOT!

Comments
• Okay, so here's the cool thing I mentioned earlier. It didn't take me long to realize that the soundtrack attached to the movie on the DVD had nothing to do with the film. It was one long, loud, overbearing organ solo, and I just couldn't listen to it for 80 minutes. So I muted it and played my CD of the Empire Strikes Back special edition score.

And you know what? It was actually startling just how many times it matched up. There was exciting music during exciting parts, slow music during eerie parts, and sometimes the tempo or instrumentation would even change at the exact moment of a cut to a new shot. It was stunning, really, and a lot better than watching with the BLOMMMMM BLOM BLOM BLOMMMM of that organ track. However, the reverent, hopeful sound of "Yoda's Theme" did not match at all with Nosfearatu's death scene. Oh well.

• Dr. Van Helsing was in this movie too, though I'm sure he had a different name in the original cut. He first appeared giving a lecture on "secrets of nature," including predators like carnivorous plants, clawed polyps, and the phone company.

• There was some stop motion here, used to make it look like Nosferatu was opening doors or coffins with his mind. I'm sure it seemed unbelievably clever in 1922, but it kind of reminded me of videos I made when I was 13.

• Speaking of camera tricks: As Jonathon approaches the count's castle, he's picked up by a strange, hooded figure driving a horse-drawn coach. When the coach starts moving, it's filmed in "fast motion," so it looks like it's super-speedy. I guess it's supposed to be unsettling, but all I could think of was The Munsters, which frequently used the fast motion device for comic effect.

• Have you ever noticed that old monster movies always end with the monster's death, while modern films tend to include an epilogue to wrap things up for the protagonists? I'm not saying either way is better, but I wonder when that tendency changed.

Letter grade for Nosferatu: B
Next film in the 50-movie set: Swamp Women