Horror Classic 40 of 50: MONSTER FROM A PREHISTORIC PLANET
Wow, am I really on movie #40 out of 50? Why, it seems like just 40 weeks ago that I started this venture... or maybe more like 45 or 46 weeks ago, because of all the times I couldn't bring myself to watch and comment on one of these things. But now I'm 4/5 of the way through! And so far, I'm still sane! I think.
You may have noticed that the poster over there does not carry the title Monster from a Prehistoric Planet. That's because... well, that's because the poster is in French. But it's also because this film, like many of the "horror classics," has been released under different titles over the years. In Japan, where the movie was produced, it was called Daikyojū Gappa, while the original title for the American release was Gappa, the Triphibian Monsters, which makes more sense, mainly because the monsters in the movie do not come from a prehistoric planet. They come from Earth! In the year 1967, which is when this movie was made! What the heck?
Synopsis
The publisher of Playmate magazine unveils plans for a new resort he's cleverly calling Playmate Land. You might think, given the similarity of this fictional publication's title to the real world's Playboy, that Playmate Land would have something to do with naked ladies, but in fact it's just a lush vacation spot meant to duplicate the experience of visiting an island in the South Seas. Why don't the tourists just skip Playmate Land and go to the South Seas? Who knows?
The publisher sends a crew of scientists and journalists to a remote island so they can find and bring back some rare animals and plants to populate the resort. Their arrival is greeted by a rumbling volcano and a series of earthquakes, and soon they encounter some natives (looking suspiciously like Japanese actors made up to look black), who tell them that the disturbances are happening because "Gappa angry!"
Is Gappa their god? Not quite. Reporter Kurosaki and photographer Miss Koyanagi venture into a cave under the volcano (always a great idea!), where they find a giant egg. Pretty soon the egg hatches, and out pops a bouncing baby... thing. What is it? It's a Gappa, of course. A dinosaur-like creature with wings on its back and a fin on its head. Our heroes can't believe their luck, and they immediately load Baby Gappa on their boat so he can be the star attraction of Playmate Land. The natives try to explain to them that this is a bad idea (because of the whole "Gappa angry!" thing) but they don't listen. Foolish Americans! Wait, no... I mean, foolish Japanese!
The publisher decides to keep the Baby Gappa a secret until he can announce it in the next issue of his magazine and sell a zillion copies. He's keeping it locked up, which doesn't sit well with the creature. Meanwhile, his scientists determine that Gappas come equipped with some kind of telepathic homing system... and that means Mommy Gappa and Daddy Gappa are sure to come looking for their kid.
And come looking they do, in the most destructive way possible. Emerging from a lake under the volcano, they first wreak havoc on the population of the island, then they zoom like jets across the ocean to Japan, where they completely trash the first city they find. And this is what this film, like so many other Japanese monster features, really comes down to: Some giant creatures smashing stuff. And these guys are tough. Tanks can't stop them, missiles mostly just annoy them, and they can survive on land, in the air, or underwater (hence the "triphibious monsters" label in the alternate title).
All the scientists and journalists and everyone who's not an idiot thinks it's time to give the Baby Gappa to its parents so they'll stop destroying everything in sight, but the publisher is hesitant. Fortunately, he's outnumbered, and after a bold jailbreak the film closes with a beautiful family reunion scene in which the Gappas share words of love and affection, including "RRRRRRRAAAAAAAA!" and "GRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGGGGAAAAA!" I almost cried.
Is It Scary?
Well, this raises an interesting question. Were Japanese giant-monster movies ever meant to be scary? I guess the original Godzilla was supposed to be a frightening warning about atomic energy, but when the monsters are huge beyond anything that could ever actually exist, it's hard be be genuinely scared of them.
Somehow, a movie about vampire sneaking into people's bedrooms to bite them is more believable, and thus more affecting, than a movie about a beast the size of a building who steps on cars.* So... is Monster from a Prehistoric Planet even a horror movie? What do you think?
Lessons I Learned
- An egg can "hibernate" in a volcano for millions of years, then hatch when it's exposed to outside air.
- Gappas live for millions of years.
- Magazine publishers are stupid.
- "Even the impossible can happen."
- Publisher's assistant, researching the Gappa: "The height... Do you know what the height is?"
Publisher: "Oh, about five feet."
Assistant: "Oh, that small?"
Publisher: "You can't judge a man's value by his height! And you better remember it!"
Assistant: "I was... asking Gappa's height!"
Publisher: "Idiot! Why didn't you say so first?"
It's hard to say. Hundreds of hapless island natives and city dwellers, crushed under the clawed feet of distraught parents. Kinda like what happens to the referee at a kids' soccer game.
Comments
• This movie was in color, a rarity on this DVD set.
• The movie was pretty fun, all in all. The generous helpings of giant-monster city-stomping action made this 90-minute film easier to sit through than many of the 65-minute films I've watched for this blog.
• Not only did the dialogue dubbing not make any attempt at lip synching, the voices of the actors didn't match the Japanese actors onscreen at all. I'm guessing there wasn't much of an audition process there.
• The main scientist guy pronounced the word "reptile" in a way I've never heard before. He said "rep-tull"... kinda the way some older people pronounce "robot" as "ro-but" instead of "ro-bot." Weird.
• I still don't understand why a magazine called Playmate would want to own a giant prehistoric monster. I can't imagine Hugh Hefner ever doing such a thing... He's much more interested in bimbos with big bosoms than mad, massive monsters.
Letter grade for Monster From a Prehistoric Planet: B
Next film in the 50-movie set: The Gorilla. Wait a minute! Haven't I already watched that one? Nope... I watched The Ape, and this is The Gorilla. I can't wait to see how they compare, and how they both measure up to that horror favorite The Bonobo.
*The exception to this is Cloverfield, which was about a monster as big as a New York City skyscraper, but which managed to thoroughly scare the ever-loving daylights out of me.
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