Horror Classic 22 of 50: THE MONSTER MAKER
So, you know what's really a horror? Trying to get Blogger to do what I want it to do. As you may have noticed in previous posts, my text sometimes shows up in all different fonts and sizes. This is not an attempt to test your eyesight or a mistake on my part. I just can't get Blogger to get it right, no matter how many times I try to fix it. So... sorry about that, but don't blame me. Blame Blogger, which just might be run by mad scientists. And hey, speaking of mad scientists...
First of all, let me make this clear: Harry Dean Stanton is not in this movie.
In 1989, NBC aired The Jim Henson Hour, which was sort of a half-Muppet Show, half fantasy anthology affair. One episode was a drama called Monster Maker, and it featured Stanton as a special effects wizard who mentors a teenage boy with aspirations of working in the movies.
It was a one-hour show, and it was pretty good. Will the 1944 film The Monster Maker prove to be better? Worse? As good? Let's jump right in and see.
Synopsis
Anthony Lawrence is a successful concert pianist. In the opening scene, he's giving a recital, which is attended by his daughter Pat, Pat's boyfriend Bob... and the creepy Dr. Igor Markoff (Is that a great name or what?). Dr. Markoff can't stop staring at Pat, which gives her more than a few heebie-jeebies. After the concert he apologizes to her: See, it's just that she looks exactly like his dead wife, that's all. Perhaps unsurprisingly, she doesn't feel much better.
This is all to the chagrin of Maxine, Dr. Markoff's long-suffering assistant, who wants to be the only woman in his life. But every time she starts complaining he just stares at her and she does his bidding, so apparently he has some mind control mojo working on her.
Dr. Markoff starts sending Pat flowers and love notes, but she's Just Not That Into Him, so she asks Mr. Lawrence to tell Markoff to knock it off. So Lawrence goes to Dr. Markoff's lab, where the doc is doing all kinds of weird experiments with glands and proteins and stuff. Markoff tells Lawrence that he's going to marry Pat and that's all there is to it, but Lawrence begs to differ. So Markoff knocks him out with a candlestick. It was Dr. Markoff, in the study, with the candlestick!
While Lawrence is out cold, Dr. Markoff injects him with a little something special: the disease acromegaly, a real disease which causes extreme swelling of the extremities, including the hands, feet, and face. For a concert pianist, this is a problem. Not only can he not play the piano, he can't show his face in public because it's all puffy and yucky-looking. Lawrence returns to Dr. Markoff's lab and threatens to kill him, and Markoff makes him an offer: He'll cure Lawrence, but only if Pat will marry him. Then he has his servant grab Lawrence so he can chain him up, and lures Pat to his lab.
Man, this is nothing like the Jim Henson show. For one thing, there are no puppets.
There's a lot more running around, and in the end, Pat escapes from Markoff's clutches, Anthony kills Markoff, and Markoff's assistant Maxine gives him the cure so he can go back to tickling the ivories. The end.
Is It Scary?
No. The way most of these old horror movies are shot -- kinda like a sitcom, with very basic blocking and little to no camera movement -- just doesn't allow for much suspense.
Lessons I Learned
My Favorite Lines
Body Count
Just the one.
Comments
• Jim Henson's Monster Maker was better. It had a coming-of-age story and an amazing, gigantic robot dragon. This movie had a guy with a goatee.
• But seriously, this could have been a lot worse. Igor Markoff was a pretty good villain, quietly sinister until he set his evil plain in motion. There was a revelation about halfway through about the fact that he was not the real Igor Markoff, but had stolen Dr. Markoff's identity, fled to America, and infected his own wife with acromegaly in a jealous rage, causing her to kill herself. But none of that was necessary at all. I suppose the filmmakers were hoping to shock the audience, but it didn't do much for me.
It's interesting that they used a real affliction as the source of the "horror." But I'd argue that Dr. Markoff did not actually make a monster... he just made a guy look really bulgy.
• Check out the tags at the bottom of this post. This movie is a mother lode of horror movie clichés! Heck, there's even an ape in it! He doesn't do much though... There's just one scene where Markoff lets the ape out of his cage so it will kill his assistant Maxine, but then the dog barks at it and it runs away.
• On two different occasions, a man hits another man on the head with a blunt object, and both times the impact occurs offscreen. I guess nobody wanted to do their own stunts.
• Look at that poster. It totally gives away the grotesque appearance of the diseased Lawrence, which is supposed to be a shocking reveal in the film. Spoiler!
Letter grade for The Monster Maker: C
Next film in the 50-movie set: The Killer Shrews. They can't be tamed!!!
First of all, let me make this clear: Harry Dean Stanton is not in this movie.In 1989, NBC aired The Jim Henson Hour, which was sort of a half-Muppet Show, half fantasy anthology affair. One episode was a drama called Monster Maker, and it featured Stanton as a special effects wizard who mentors a teenage boy with aspirations of working in the movies.
It was a one-hour show, and it was pretty good. Will the 1944 film The Monster Maker prove to be better? Worse? As good? Let's jump right in and see.
Synopsis
Anthony Lawrence is a successful concert pianist. In the opening scene, he's giving a recital, which is attended by his daughter Pat, Pat's boyfriend Bob... and the creepy Dr. Igor Markoff (Is that a great name or what?). Dr. Markoff can't stop staring at Pat, which gives her more than a few heebie-jeebies. After the concert he apologizes to her: See, it's just that she looks exactly like his dead wife, that's all. Perhaps unsurprisingly, she doesn't feel much better.
This is all to the chagrin of Maxine, Dr. Markoff's long-suffering assistant, who wants to be the only woman in his life. But every time she starts complaining he just stares at her and she does his bidding, so apparently he has some mind control mojo working on her.
Dr. Markoff starts sending Pat flowers and love notes, but she's Just Not That Into Him, so she asks Mr. Lawrence to tell Markoff to knock it off. So Lawrence goes to Dr. Markoff's lab, where the doc is doing all kinds of weird experiments with glands and proteins and stuff. Markoff tells Lawrence that he's going to marry Pat and that's all there is to it, but Lawrence begs to differ. So Markoff knocks him out with a candlestick. It was Dr. Markoff, in the study, with the candlestick!
While Lawrence is out cold, Dr. Markoff injects him with a little something special: the disease acromegaly, a real disease which causes extreme swelling of the extremities, including the hands, feet, and face. For a concert pianist, this is a problem. Not only can he not play the piano, he can't show his face in public because it's all puffy and yucky-looking. Lawrence returns to Dr. Markoff's lab and threatens to kill him, and Markoff makes him an offer: He'll cure Lawrence, but only if Pat will marry him. Then he has his servant grab Lawrence so he can chain him up, and lures Pat to his lab.
Man, this is nothing like the Jim Henson show. For one thing, there are no puppets.
There's a lot more running around, and in the end, Pat escapes from Markoff's clutches, Anthony kills Markoff, and Markoff's assistant Maxine gives him the cure so he can go back to tickling the ivories. The end.
Is It Scary?
No. The way most of these old horror movies are shot -- kinda like a sitcom, with very basic blocking and little to no camera movement -- just doesn't allow for much suspense.
Lessons I Learned
- Dr. Igor Markoff lives at 1335 Cliff Drive. Not really a lesson, but it was repeated several times so I figured I'd better write it down.
My Favorite Lines
- Mr. Lawrence to Pat, when she first expresses fear over Markoff's intentions: "You've been listening to too many horror radio programs! What you need is a good workout on the badminton court!"
- Lawrence to Dr. Markoff, after his transformation: "You've set yourself up as a Frankenstein and I am your monster. But the monster destroyed the man... and that's what I'm going to do to you!"
- This telephone exchange:
MARKOFF: Don't be alarmed, but your father came to me last night for a consultation.
PAT: My father came to you last night for a consultation?
MARKOFF: Yes.
Body Count
Just the one.
Comments
• Jim Henson's Monster Maker was better. It had a coming-of-age story and an amazing, gigantic robot dragon. This movie had a guy with a goatee.
• But seriously, this could have been a lot worse. Igor Markoff was a pretty good villain, quietly sinister until he set his evil plain in motion. There was a revelation about halfway through about the fact that he was not the real Igor Markoff, but had stolen Dr. Markoff's identity, fled to America, and infected his own wife with acromegaly in a jealous rage, causing her to kill herself. But none of that was necessary at all. I suppose the filmmakers were hoping to shock the audience, but it didn't do much for me.
It's interesting that they used a real affliction as the source of the "horror." But I'd argue that Dr. Markoff did not actually make a monster... he just made a guy look really bulgy.
• Check out the tags at the bottom of this post. This movie is a mother lode of horror movie clichés! Heck, there's even an ape in it! He doesn't do much though... There's just one scene where Markoff lets the ape out of his cage so it will kill his assistant Maxine, but then the dog barks at it and it runs away.
• On two different occasions, a man hits another man on the head with a blunt object, and both times the impact occurs offscreen. I guess nobody wanted to do their own stunts.
• Look at that poster. It totally gives away the grotesque appearance of the diseased Lawrence, which is supposed to be a shocking reveal in the film. Spoiler!
Letter grade for The Monster Maker: C
Next film in the 50-movie set: The Killer Shrews. They can't be tamed!!!
Comments