Horror Classic 23 of 50: THE KILLER SHREWS

So, here we have The Killer Shrews, a 1959 film directed by Ray Kellogg. Does that name sound familiar? It certainly should if you know anything about anything, because Kellogg was also the director of the horror classic The Giant Gila Monster, which I reviewed in this very space.

According to the not-always-impeccably-reliable IMDb, Shrews and Gila Monster were intended to be shown as a double feature. I can see how they both came from the same brain.

Synopsis
Our hero is Captain Thorne Sherman. That's right, Captain Thorne Sherman. Is that a great hero name, or what? As the film opens, he and his first mate Rock (not the WWE wrestler) are on their way to deliver some supplies to Dr. Marlowe Craigis on a remote island. Ah, but there's a hurricane -- or, as Thorne calls it, a "hurric'n" -- coming, so Thorne decides they'll be staying on the island overnight. Ah, but there'll be no beach party for them... only KILLER SHREWS!

They meet Dr. Craigis, as well as his assistants Jerry and Bradford, and his daughter Ann. Dr. Craigis and his colleagues have been doing some biological experiments on the island, which they explain to Thorne. See, Dr. Craigis is very concerned with overpopulation, and he noticed that small animals (like, say, shrews) have low metabolisms, which means they don't eat much. He figures if he can take genes from shrews and stick 'em in people, he can create a new kind of human, which will eat be smaller and eat less. Of course, no one would ever object to this plan... Everyone wants to be more like a shrew!

In the Craigis house a little later, Thorne gets cozy with Ann, who's acting more nervous than a cat in a roomful of killer shrews. She wants to be on the boat the next morning, because she wants to get off the island as quickly as possible.

Meanwhile, Thorne sends Rock out to take care of the boat. To make a long story short, Rock gets devoured by KILLER SHREWS. Yeah, the island's crawling with them, the result of a horrible mistake Jerry made in the lab, and that's why Ann wants to get the heck outta there.

So Thorne comes up with a plan: After the storm, at daybreak, everyone will run like heck for the boat. Good plan, right? Ah, but the KILLER SHREWS have another plan, and theirs involves smashing and burrowing through walls to eat some folks. One of them sneaks into the cellar, where Thorne and Mario, Dr. Craigis's manual labor guy, have a close encounter with it which Mario does not survive.

As the night wears on, the shrews continue their efforts to have an all-you-can-eat buffet, while the humans continue their efforts not to become brunch. Also, Jerry acts like a big stupidhead, 'cause he's all jealous that Ann likes Thorne more than him. It'll take bravery, expert shrew-shooting skills, and an escape vehicle made out of barrels if anyone's going to make it out alive.

Is It Scary?
The idea of giant shrews forcing their way into your house is pretty unsettling. The shrews themselves were pretty effective for a film from 1959, I guess. They were usually just dogs wearing shrew costumes, but there were some close-up shots where puppet shrew heads were used, and what they lacked in scariness they made up in ugliness.

Lessons I Learned

• Shrews are afraid of water.
• Shrews eat horses.
  
• Overpopulation is a major problem... but not as important as kissing.
  

My Favorite Line

• Ann to Jerry: "I'm not saying you created them, Jerry. I'm saying that in your drunken stupidity, leaving the cage door open, you created the horrible situation that now exists!"
• Ann to Thorne: "I'm sorry I had to threaten you with a gun."
• Thorne to Ann, when she expresses her desire to leave the island and live a normal life: "I'll take a dull, alive woman every time."

Body Count
Four humans, plus many, many KILLER SHREWS. Two of those humans happened to be the only minority characters in the movie. Hmm.

Comments
• So, how does this film compare to The Giant Gila Monster? They're pretty equal. Like Gila, Shrews has production values slightly higher than what I've come to expect from these "horror classics." As for the protagonists, Thorne was kind of a know-it-all, less sympathetic than Gila's Chase... but Thorne never burst into song, so again they're even.

• This movie took itself really seriously, which makes me think that the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode featuring it must be pretty good.

• The escape method used by Thorne, Ann, and Dr. Craigis was pretty brilliant... They welded three metal barrels together, turned them upside-down and waddled inside them from the house to the beach. It was like a KILLER SHREW-proof suit of armor!

Letter grade for The Killer Shrews: B-

Next film in the 50-movie set: The Brain That Wouldn't Die. Having seen the Mystery Science Theater version, I'm not salivating at the prospect of watching it without the wisecracks.