Horror Classic 43 of 50: BLOODLUST!

Before we proceed, I want to be certain everyone knows the title of this film is Bloodlust! with an exclamation mark. This puts it in the same category with such motion pictures as Tora! Tora! Tora! and Airplane! and Viva Zapata! As you will see, this film is nearly identical to those three.

You may remember last week when I wondered aloud whether the "Robert Reed" listed in the credits for this film would be the same Robert Reed who starred on The Brady Bunch. I think you'll be as delighted as I was to know that yes, in fact, the guy who played Mike Brady stars in this movie running for his life from an insane man with a crossbow.

Gee, you just never know what you'll get with this 50-movie pack of "horror classics." One week it's a silly Japanese giant-monster movie from the late 60s, the next week it's a dumb comedy mystery from the 30s, and a few weeks later it's a thriller from 1961 that shamelessly rips off a classic short story.

Which short story, you ask impatiently? Well, stop fidgeting and check this out:

Synopsis
Four young people are out on a fishing boat on their vacation: Johnny, Betty, Pete, and Jeannie. Johnny is played by Robert Reed, and he may as well be a younger Mike Brady. He's a decent, stand-up guy who has good advice for every situation. He even gets captured by an old eccentric dude, although sadly it's not Vincent Price. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The two couples spot an island nearby, and decide to row their dinghy ashore (hallelujah?). The fishing boat's pilot Tony wakes from his drunken stupor long enough to warn them not to go anywhere near that island, but it's too late: they can't hear him, and they're already dinghying their way across the waves, so he goes back to being unconscious, which has to be against some kind of maritime regulations.

So, let's say you're young and imptetuous, and you've just landed on an island that you know nothing about. There could be hostile natives, wild animals, disease-carrying insects... What's the first thing you do? If you answered "Run into the jungle to look for banana leaves to use for a clambake," you might be one of the characters in Bloodlust! Of course they want to have a clambake! It's just a shame they forgot to invite Gidget and Moon Doggie.

Before they've even had the chance to play beach blanket bingo, though, they're captured by the henchman of Mr. Belleau. He's a rich but dignified old kook who's lived in a mansion on the island for years, importing animals from all over the world so he can hunt them, and kill them, and mount their lifeless bodies all over his house so he can brag about how good he is at making things dead.

Of course, he has a favorite animal to hunt, and if you've ever heard of Richard Connell's famous short story The Most Dangerous Game, you already know what it is: snails. No, just kidding! It's people! IT'S PEOPLE! But our heroes don't know this yet. He just tells them they'll be his houseguests approximately forever, has one of his goons show them to their rooms, and slips out to hunt his latest victim.

But there are two other people living in the house: Belleau's wife Sandra, and his associate Dean. Dean and Sandra are lovers, and they have an escape plan, which they let our heroes in on. It involves the two of them making their way through the jungle to a hidden boat, and then coming back to rescue -- well, anyway, they don't make it.

Johnny, Betty, Pete, and Jeannie attempt their own escape, but Belleau heads them off at the pass and reveals the details of his horrible hobby, in a dramatic scene that takes place in a huge cave-turned-trophy-room full of taxidermy-stuffed humans. Now he has a new, fun way to spend his weekend: He's going to hunt Johnny, Peter, and Tony, their pilot, turning them loose in the jungle with one gun between the three of them. There's a single bullet stuck in a tree somewhere, so they'll only get one shot at him. Meanwhile, his flunkies are guarding the girls.

So now it's Johnny, Pete, Jeannie, Betty, and Tony, vs. Belleau, his staff, their weapons, and their knowledge of the island. The odds don't look so good for Mike Brady and company.

Is It Scary?
On occasion, there's perhaps enough suspense to make a sensitive viewer cringe.

Lessons I Learned

• The dad from The Brady Bunch was a strapping lad in his younger days.
  
• Clambakes are deadly.
• Any thug who says "I'm harmless!" is not harmless.

My Favorite Lines

• Johnny: "Of all the women in the world, I had to get mixed up with the daughter of a judo expert!"
  Betty: "Daddy told me men like to wrestle."
  Johnny: "That's not exactly what I had in mind."
• Pete, after Betty kisses him and wishes him good luck as he ventures into the jungle alone: "Let me at 'em!"

Body Count
Six.

Comments
• Troy Patterson is in this movie. Doesn't that sound like somebody who would be in a B-movie like this?

• This movie is not great, but the filmmakers kept things moving. Every scene had a point, even if it was only to give Betty another reason to scream like a girl.

• Hey, I didn't make any jokes about the fact that Robert Reed was gay in real life. What kind of snarky internet writer am I, anyway?

• I liked the scene with Belleau explaining to the four heroes who he is. He introduces Sandra, and her entrance is accompanied by a new musical theme. Then he introduces one of his brutish servants, and his entrance gets a musical sting. I was half expecting him to next say, "And now, here's my pet cat, who will be represented by the clarinet."

• There was one totally weird transition... After the good guys are shown to their rooms, Belleau goes to the bar in the center of the parlor and pours himself a drink. There's a zoom-in on the bottle, then the picture gets all wavy, as if there's going to be a flashback... but instead, it just dissolves to Sandra and Dean in the same room a few minutes later. What happened? Is this supposed to signify that Bealleau got a little drunk? Or perhaps the director got a little drunk.

• To prove he means business, Belleau shoots a statue of a horse with his crossbow. It looked a lot like the horse statue on the table at the bottom of the Brady Bunch's staircase. I'm just sayin'.

• This film would probably be better if it were made today. For one thing, the four leads would have more distinguishable personalities. Also, there must be an actor working now who would do a better job at playing Belleau... Somebody with that combination of dignity and intensity. Robert Downey Jr.? Anthony Hopkins? Alec Baldwin? Clive Owen? Alan Rickman? What do you think?

• Ooh, or what about this: What about a comedy remake of this movie? I think a good writer could make people hunting people seem funny.

• I loved the shot where the entire jungle is dark except for one spot in a tree that's completely lit from above, and in that spot we see Johnny, Peter, Betty, and Jeannie all lined up in a row. That is some wonderfully unnatural blocking.

Letter grade for Bloodlust!: B-. I was going to give it a C+, but then the film concluded with a title card reading "THE END... of BLOODLUST!" and that bumped it up a notch. I was even considering giving it a B, but that seems too generous. Maybe it's a B by the low standards set by the other movies in this DVD set.

Next film in the 50-movie set: The Amazing Mr. X: Is he related to Dr. J?